Desolate
by CelestialTitania
Summary: All she wanted was for Gray to be happy. It was the only thing that mattered. Damn everything else.


Erza watched the rising rays of the sun, as a new day began. She stood tall as the wind began to pick up, causing her hair to softly sway. She felt him walk up to her before she heard him. "What are you doing still out here? The Zentopia folk left long ago."

"I know. I just wanted to be out here by myself. You should go back inside." She watched him out of the corner of her eye. He shook his head. "Rather stay out here, the wind feels nice." She gave him a tight smile, as she continued looking at the sky.

"Where is Juvia? I would have thought she wouldn't let you leave her sight," Erza chuckled, ignoring a pang in her heart as she waited for his answer.

Gray blanched. "I don't know who was worse. Her or Sugar Boy." He put his hands up, "don't get me wrong. Juvia is a friend, our nakama and all that, but at the end of the day she needs to back off."

"Is that really what you want?" Gray stopped and turned to stare at her. Erza took in a breath and faced him. She stared deep into his dark blue eyes. "I know you have some feelings for Juvia."

"What the hell?" Gray cut her off before she could continue speaking. "Have you lost your mind? The woman _stalks_ me and has creepy memorabilia of me everywhere. What part of that is attractive?"

Erza refused to be taken in by his words. "Oh really? Then why haven't you rejected her as of yet? Why keep stringing her along?"

Gray opened his mouth, then closed it again. This repeated for another few minutes. Eventually Erza grew weary of this. It was so clear to her that Gray was hiding from his own feelings. If a direct confrontation from her would help him accept Juvia and gain happiness, then she had completed her was about to turn on her heel when he touched her arm. His cool touch made her pause, and she waited for him to speak.

"I haven't said anything because I'm a coward. After everything that's happened to us, I don't have the heart to hurt her like that."

Erza turned back to face him, ready to tell him that Juvia would readily accept him with all his flaws, but instead she found a hand in her face. "Don't start with how she loves me. I _don't_ love her. Never have, never will. It's okay though since she doesn't love me either you know. She just hasn't accepted that yet."

Erza rolled her eyes. A blind man could see how much Juvia loves Gray. On Tenroujima, Erza had seen Juvia's infatuation and how her love for Gray gave Juvia the power to defeat any enemy for herself. She, of all people, knew very well the power of emotions and that those feelings can't be faked.

"She doesn't," Gray insisted. "She can't. She doesn't know the real me."

At that Erza paused. Seeing her willing to fully hear him out, Gray expanded on what he meant. "Juvia...she's taken this idea of me. She's in love with a fantasy. You can't deny it, you've heard some of her daydreams." He paused for breath. "She thinks of me as someone who is kind and understanding. Someone who's charming, romantic and loyal. Someone who is _whole_."

"You're all those things," Erza whispered. "All those things and more. Much more." A hint of longing crept out of her voice, but she kept her face expressionless.

Gray shook his head. "I'm not. Definitely not to that extent. The pedestal Juvia has me on… it's too high. I can't even begin to be that person." His eyes were downcast, Erza felt her heart pound.

"Gray," Erza impulsively grabbed his hand, her body moving before she could decide what she wanted to do. "You are those things. From the very beginning you've been exceptionally understanding of me, even though you were going through so much pain of your own. I have seen your kindness as well. Anyone in the guild will vouch for how kind you are."

She still remembered as a child when Gray had seen her crying by that river...he had brought her out of her shell. It was what allowed her to give her all as a Fairy Tail mage and even become S-Class. WIthout him, she'd have spent all her time sulking around, waiting for Jellal to sacrifice her into the Tower of Heaven. She would never have found the strength to save her friends from a terrible fate.

"Charm? Whenever I see you fight, you're magnetic. In our team, I choose to fight by your side because you motivate me to keep going. I have never felt the need to question your loyalty. I know that it belongs to the guild and our nakama. Romance will come, you just need to find the right person."

In Erza's eyes, there wasn't anyone whose loyalty was as strong as Gray's. Against Eisenwald, Oracion Seis, in Edolas, time and time again they were put in battle together and Erza was able to give it her all only because she knew Gray would be there to finish them off. Gray had her trust and his very presence fueled her forwards. Even when they thought he had betrayed them for Daphne, Erza wanted to get him back so she could question him. Perhaps she was no longer capable of blind faith, but she would have done everything in her power to bring him back to her, to Fairy Tail.

Erza took a deep breath. "You are the wholest person I've seen. To walk away, with all this pain, still having the will to be happy? That's all the wholeness we need."

Gray gaped at her and Erza felt a light blush appear on her cheeks. She squeezed his hand before she let go. "That is what Juvia sees. And that's why she's so in love with you."

Gray stiffened. "You were saying all that, in Juvia's point of view?"

Erza's eyes widened. "No! I really meant it. I believe in you from the bottom of my heart Gray. I just think that, that is what Juvia also thinks." Gray scowled ferociously. "Whatever, doesn't mean that I love her back."

Erza's eyes softened, "then why not tell her that? It'll hurt but at least she'll be able to move on."

Gray seemed to be watching her closely. "And if someone confessed to you? Someone who you weren't in love with?"

"I would tell them," Erza nodded decisively.

"Even if they were a close friend?"

She paused to think. If any of her dear friends would be hurt by her rejection would she truly be able to do it? But wouldn't it be crueler still, to let them go on thinking they had a chance? Taking a deep breath, Erza nodded again. "My answer won't change."

Gray nodded, emotion flickering within his eyes. What that emotion was, Erza was unable to decipher. "I'll think about it," his voice came out sounding hoarse but before Erza could say anymore, he was gone.

Erza resumed her staring at the horizon. It shouldn't take too much longer. Eventually Juvia's feelings would reach him and he'd let her in. Everything she'd just told him was a step in that direction.

Erza had seen for herself, Gray's blooming feelings towards Juvia. His jealousy when Lyon or Dan would try to hit on Juvia. It was most definitely jealousy. He had reacted quite differently when Dan was flirting with Lucy or even herself. Gray was falling for Juvia and he hadn't even noticed it. But Erza had, and she would ensure that those two got together.

She was certain that for all he was saying about being too scared to reject her and how Juvia didn't truly love him, were his own insecurities showing through. All she wanted was for Gray to be happy. It was the only thing that mattered. Damn everything else. Even her own heart. She would squash her feelings and force Gray to see Juvia. To forget his fears and accept her love.

Erza would let Gray go. He was never really hers to begin with.

* * *

**So I've been rewatching Fairy Tail, and I noticed that after Tenroujima, Erza had started pushing Gray and Juvia together. Then in GMG, she tells Gray that it's time he told Juvia what he felt. Little missing piece that I think ties it all together. **


End file.
